


Fight or Flight

by Nola_1



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 10:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17827151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nola_1/pseuds/Nola_1
Summary: My take on an angsty one-shot...where the angst doesn't last that long.Happy ending cos I'm a massive sucker





	Fight or Flight

Yaz drew in a ragged breath, turning on her bed to bury her head in her pillow, muting her groan of frustration.

She wasn’t sure at this point whether she was more mad at herself or the Doctor, but one thing she did know was that she had handled the situation horribly, which left her miserable and alone at her parents’ flat with the Doctor god only knows where.

_“Don’t walk away from me, Yasmin Khan,” the Doctor’s tone was stern – more stern than Yaz had ever had directed at her before._ _She didn’t give herself time to be offended by it, though, her own blood boiling as she stormed through the console room and down the corridor of the TARDIS to her bedroom._

_Instead she threw over her shoulder without a backwards glance, “You do NOT get to order me around,” she spat, “Take me home. Now.”_

It had been an hour and a half since Yaz had flopped herself down on her own bed in the home she shared with her parents and sister; by this point drowning in guilt and heartache. She needed the Doctor now.

She needed the Doctor full stop: a fact she had reluctantly come to accept over the last couple of months when trips home became less and shorter because Yaz felt an almost physical pain at the prospect of being away from the blonde alien for too long. That pain was nothing compared to this, though. To know she had hurt the most important person in her world.

_“Please Yaz, don’t leave like this.”_

_The Doctor stood at the open door of the TARDIS. Yaz could see the familiar square leading to her block of flats beyond it as she avoided the Doctor’s pleading gaze._

_She stepped forward slowly, eyes on the open door, trying to figure out if she was going to say anything as she left. Her step faltered as she reached the door, feeling the Doctor at her side, imagining her pained gaze as she tried one last time, “Don’t go.”_

_Yaz swallowed down the Doctor’s plea with difficulty, her throat burning as she held back the tears. She left without looking back, a sob escaping when she knew she would be out of earshot..._

Yaz had her emo playlist on – depressing music from her early teenage years empathising with her in her state of depression. It was doing such a good job of drowning her in sorrow that she almost missed the muted sounds outside her room.

There were footsteps down the corridor, at least two sets, and a tense, whispered conversation. Yaz was pretty sure she could make out her mum sighing and then a set of feet walking away. Yaz had turned on her side, listening out for what was happening on the other side of her door. It was quiet for such a long moment that when there came a gentle knock at, Yaz jumped out her skin.

She didn’t say anything – hoping that if it was Sonya that she’d be able to pretend she was asleep.

“Yaz,” the girl in question’s heart hammered in her chest at the sound of the soft, unmistakeable Yorkshire accent, “I’m gonna come in in 10 seconds unless you tell me not to, ok?”

The Doctor counted to ten out loud, very slowly, before turning the handle and nudging the door open slightly, but not stepping over the threshold.

“Come in,” Yaz welcomed quietly, the juxtaposition of her desperation to see the Doctor and her fear of her reaction tearing up her insides.

No matter what was going on, the sight of that long grey coat and blonde hair stole Yaz’s breath as she forced herself into a sitting position, pressing her back against her headboard and pulling her knees up to her chest.

The Doctor pressed Yaz’s door closed gently and sunk back against it, her eyes soft and sad as she met Yaz’s; her mouth set in a straight line.

“Hello sweet girl,” the Doctor greeted with a small smile, not missing the sore, red rimmed eyes of the young officer.

She crossed the room slowly, Yaz watching closely but silently with her chin pressed to the top of her knees as the Doctor came to a stop at the side of the bed, “Is it ok if I sit down?”

Yaz could only nod dumbly, her eyes wide and fearful as the Doctor perched on the bed at her side, her face close to the younger girl’s, “I’m sorry if you wanted me to stay away for longer. I tried, honestly. To give you some space... The TARDIS kicked me out eventually...not dissimilar to when we first met, actually,” the Doctor winced, her right hand coming up to grasp at the back of her neck.

Yaz opened her mouth to say something, _anything_ , but all words caught in her throat and she choked back a sob, burying her face in her knees.

“Oh no,” the Doctor’s face crumpled, her left hand reaching out to stroke down Yaz’s back between her shoulder blades, “Please don’t cry. I’ll go if you want me to.”

“No!” Yaz finally found her voice, her head whipping up as her left hand automatically shot out and grasped the lapel of the Doctor’s coat, keeping her close.

The relief on the Doctor’s face was palpable and she couldn’t help but swoop forward and press her lips to Yaz’s cheek, her left arm wrapping around Yaz’s shoulders and pulling her close, “I'm here,” the Doctor soothed softly, her lips against Yaz’s ear eliciting a shiver down the younger’s girl’s spine.

“I’m sorry,” Yaz pressed her words into the juncture between the Doctor’s shoulder and neck, making the skin wet with her own tears, “I’m so, so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Yaz brought her knees down so her legs were flat against the bed, allowing the Doctor to wrap her right arm around Yaz’s waist too to keep her close, “Well, your taste in music leaves a lot to be desired,” Yaz felt the Doctor’s nose scrunch against her cheek and she fought back a small smile against the Doctor’s warm skin, “Bit depressing for my liking...but there’s nothing else to be forgiven, love.”

Yaz brought both of her arms to the Doctor’s biceps, pushing them apart so that she could meet the Doctor’s eyes; her own filled with tears, “But, I was awful. You must be so upset with me.”

The look the Doctor gave her in response was so kind and patient, but so intense that Yaz had to fight the urge to look away, “We all do silly things when we’re scared,” she shrugged in understanding.

“Scared?” Yaz questioned, her brow furrowing as the Doctor peeled Yaz’s hands from her own arms and tangled them with her own, letting them all fall into her lap.

The Doctor met Yaz’s eyes and nodded, “I had my part to play, too. I didn’t handle the situation very well.”

_“Nifty little thing...” the Doctor began, twirling her Sonic around the fingers of one hand with characteristically over the top flair as she addressed the Alien Overlord of Tardassion 6 who had interrupted the relaxing picnic the Doctor had unwittingly arranged on a war torn planet for her fam._

_Pesky TARDIS had delivered them a century and a half too soon...before the War had ended, the Overlord had been overthrown and the inhabitants had re-built the emerald utopia their planet was famous for._

_The momentum of her speech was broken as the metal armour that covered the Overlord’s chest split down the middle and retracted, revealing what was clearly some form of gun protruding from his middle._

_“...Huh...” the Doctor mused, eyes widening in fear, “Niftier little thing.”_

_The Doctor felt Yaz sidle up to her carefully, aware that Ryan and Graham were directly behind them, her fingers catching the Doctor’s elbow as she leant in to her ear, “Maybe we should run?”_

_“Excellent idea, Yaz,” the Doctor stage whispered, the hand with her sonic in it already extending towards the grinning alien, “On three guys:- one, two, THREE!” she exclaimed as she engaged her sonic and the gun on the alien’s chest clunked and fizzed uncomfortably, but still looked in working order, “RUN!”_

_The Doctor turned on the spot, arms extended as she ushered the others ahead of her, back into the direction of the TARDIS._

_She felt the familiar, welcomed burn in her thighs as she ran, relieved that Yaz, Ryan and Graham were nearly at the TARDIS, her not far behind._

_“Not so fast,” a booming voice was suddenly behind her and the Doctor felt her feet disappear from under her as she went flying, landing face down on the hard dirt track with a sickening thud._

_She watched her sonic fly out of her jacket pocket and bounce to a stop too far ahead of her to reach with her hand, particular_ _ly when she felt something wrap around her ankles and start dragging her backwards._

_Yaz, who had just reached the TARDIS door behind Graham and Ryan, span around at the sound of the other woman hitting the ground._

_“DOCTOR!” Yaz shouted, turning back on the spot, ready to rush to her._

_“Yaz, don’t!” the Doctor warned, scrabbling to get some purchase on the ground even as she was being dragged away by the alien, “Stay in the TARDIS, I’ll be ok,” she ordered._

_Yaz considered the Doctor's order for all of about .5 of a second before deciding that she wasn’t having any of it. Heart hammering, she ran back towards where the Doctor was struggling against her leg restraints and the alien attached to them, skidding to a stop in the dry dirt into a sitting position when she reached the sonic that had been just out of the Doctor’s reach._

_“Oi!” Yaz called, directing the Doctor and alien’s attention to her as she gripped the device in both hands, “Let her go,” she growled, directing the sonic at the length of rope being held by the alien, which disintegrated – breaking the link between them but still leaving the Doctor’s ankles tied together._

_Yaz scrambled to untie the knot as the Doctor snatched the sonic from her hand, trying in vain to appear threatening, “Next time it’ll be part of you burning ‘til there’s nothing left,” she warned in a low voice – an empty threat, Yaz was sure._

_The alien wasn’t keen to take that chance, though, and started to retreat slowly, giving the Doctor and Yaz the time to free the alien._

_“You shouldn’t have done this,” the Doctor chastised as Yaz pulled one end of the rope through the other, the tension at the Doctor’s ankles starting to give, “You could have got seriously hurt, or worse.”_

_Yaz looked up at the Doctor even as she continued to pull the ropes loose, “I can’t let anything bad happen to you, Doctor,” she revealed, “You mean too much to me,” she admitted as the ropes finally came loose and she staggered to her feet, holding a hand out for the Doctor to help her up._

_Bizarrely, the Doctor ignored Yaz’s hand, instead pressing her own into the ground and pushing herself up into a standing position, “That’s not good enough,” the Doctor spoke lowly, one eye still on the aliens, “Don’t pull anything like that again, ok? Now get back to the TARDIS whilst I finish off this nice conversation with our friend,” the Doctor’s attention was back on the alien, who was now at a safe distance, eyeing the still prone sonic warily._

_Yaz felt as though her heart was imploding, her world ripped to shreds by the Doctor’s tone. She had finally opened up to the Doctor and had been completely rebuffed. She was humiliated and devastated._

_“You know what?” Yaz spoke quietly, her voice cracking, “Screw you,” she spat, turning on the spot and stalking back to the TARDIS._

_The Doctor, whose eyes had been trained on the alien, whipped her head round in shock at her friend’s tone, noting the tears in her eyes before she stormed off, “Wait, Yaz!” the Doctor called after her, turning back to the alien, “We’re going to have to finish this off another time. Slightly more pressing matter to attend to.”_

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Yaz spoke quietly, “I get it.” Her eyes were focused down on the four hands tangled on the Doctor’s thigh.

The Doctor hummed thoughtfully, disentangling one of her hands to curl under Yaz’s chin and draw her face up so their eyes could meet, “What is it that you get?” she asked softly, intrigued.

Yaz sucked in a long painful breath, “That I’m no use to you if I’m too busy making heart eyes at you to keep myself safe...and that puts too much unnecessary pressure on you to keep me safe when you're trying tohelp others.”

The Doctor’s eyes widened as she considered Yaz’s interpretation of the events, and she found she was totally unsurprised about the way Yaz had reacted earlier if that was what she thought. Her hand fell from Yaz’s face to her thigh, squeezing gently.

“Yasmin Khan,” the Doctor breathed out with a sad smile, “You are a bright and beautiful shining star,” she complimented, before her eyes narrowed and her tone hardened, “But you have never been more wrong.”

Yaz blanched, “I don’t...what?” Her heart was hammering in her chest, the juxtaposition of the Doctor’s words sending her head spinning.

“The reason I reacted the way I did,” the Doctor began, chest rising in deep breath, “It’s not because you’re a nuisance to me. The complete opposite, in fact. When I watch you throw yourself headfirst into danger – which you in particular are wont to do, PC Khan,” she teased with a quirked eyebrow before sobering again, “I am filled with so much dread that something bad will happen to you and I will lose you. You’re so special to me, Yaz. I’m so sorry if you’ve ever questioned that.”

Yaz’s mouth opened and closed – a couple of times – in a failed attempt to say something, _anything_.

The Doctor bit her bottom lip as she considered her catatonic friend, “I’d really love it if you could say pretty much anything right now,” she pleaded, eyes searching Yaz’s.

"Sorry, I just," Yaz shook her head with a disbelieving smile, "I wasn't expecting anything like that,” she admitted quietly, eyes shining as they met the Doctor’s, “You think I’m special?”

The Doctor nodded, “When you left the TARDIS earlier, it felt like you took part of me with you,” she spoke softly, smiling sadly as Yaz squeezed the hand still wrapped in her own. The Doctor pressed on, “I vowed to myself that I would be more open this time, in this body, to everything I preach abut hope...and love,” she added, eyes bright and hopeful, “I’m not sure if I’m doing well or really horribly right now,” she poked her tongue out thoughtfully.

Despite the terror weighing down her chest, Yaz couldn’t help but find the Doctor’s facial expression, and the (absolutely _unbelievable_ ) words coming out of her mouth, adorable – a tentative grin breaking out on her face, “I actually think you’re doing pretty great,” she breathed out, a sense of relief overcoming her.

“Yeah?” the Doctor grinned broadly as Yaz’s hands left hers and she shuffled closer to the alien, her right hand gliding up the Doctor’s side and curling around her back.

The Doctor’s eyebrow quirked in intrigue, “Doing _that_ great, am I?” she questioned playfully, her own hand on Yaz’s thigh stroking gently.

Yaz felt the contact on her thigh everywhere, her eyes focusing on it for a moment before looking up to meet the Doctor’s face that was now much closer to her own, “I’m going to do something really stupid right now,” Yaz whispered, her words causing the Doctor’s eyebrows to rise to her hairline.

“Normally I wouldn’t encourage stupid behaviour, but on this occasion...”

Before the Doctor could finish her sentence, Yaz was swooping in and capturing her lips with her own; her left hand, the one not around the Doctor’s waist pressing against her knee for leverage.

The Doctor only froze for a moment before she relaxed, melting into Yaz, her left arm pressing into the mattress next to Yaz as she sunk into the contact. The Doctor’s head tilted, her mouth hot and insistent against the younger woman’s.

“This is ok?” Yaz spoke against the Doctor’s mouth, inhaling deeply through her nose as the Doctor’s mouth found hers again by way of response.

Yaz gasped as the Doctor’s fingers against her thigh curled and scratched, giving her the opportunity to lick into Yaz’s mouth and deepen the kiss.

Without breaking the contact; all awkward, blind and almost unconscious movement, Yaz pushed herself up onto her knees, her left hand rising from the Doctor’s knee to curl around her neck as her left knee swung over the Doctor’s legs and she settled onto the Doctor’s lap with a sigh against her glistening lips.

“ _Yaz_ ,” the Doctor’s breathless gasp against her was accompanied by both hands at Yaz’s waist pulling her body closer, fingertips inching under her top to press against warm skin.

Yaz was worried that she had gone too far, that the Doctor was about to push her away and insist that this had all been a big mistake, but she wasn’t ready for that.

Instead she used the hand at the base of the Doctor’s neck to draw her back in to a gentler kiss, their mouths moving languidly against each other as Yaz tried not to rock too desperately into the Doctor’s lap.

Yaz had never, in all of her adolescent years, had a make out session in her bedroom. Yet here she was, straddling a two thousand year old alien and kissing her like their lives depended on it. It was all incredibly overwhelming.

The Doctor broke away with a gasp and that furrow in her brow that Yaz was absolutely in love with, “You ok?” she asked breathlessly, pupils blown.

The sight had Yaz’s heart thumping so strongly it almost physically hurt. The spell broken, Yaz suddenly felt embarrassed about her current position, chest to chest with the Doctor, her knees pressed into the mattress bracketing the Doctor’s hips. “I’m so sorry,” her cheeks flushed and she attempted to lift herself off and away but was stopped but the gentle but firm hands at her hips, keeping her in place.

“Why are you sorry?” the Doctor asked, tilting her head curiously, “Don’t you want this? Me?”

The Doctor started to look panicked and like somehow she had misunderstood what having a beautiful woman grinding in your lap with her tongue in your mouth meant. She was still getting to grips with social cues, but had been fairly certain that she couldn’t have got this one mixed up.

Yaz’s features softened and her heart slowed as she allowed herself to relax back down into the intimate embrace, “I want you. You have no idea how much," she admitted with a smile, "This is all just a bit overwhelming."

"It's a bit of a jump considering you were mad at me an hour ago, I'll give you that," the Doctor grinned, chuckling as Yaz groaned in embarrassment and buried her face in the Time Lord's neck. 

The Doctor secured her arms around Yaz's waist and sunk down onto her back on the younger girl's bed, bringing Yaz with her. 

They settled onto the bed, the Doctor on her back with Yaz curled into her side, the Doctor's arm around Yaz's shoulders holding her protectively, "We've got all the time in the world," the Doctor spoke lovingly, pressing a kiss to the younger woman's temple, "Fancy just having a sleepover and a bit of a cuddle here tonight and we'll figure the rest out tomorrow?"

All of Yaz's anxious energy melted away and she pressed a kiss to the Doctor's décollegate exposed above her t-shirt (something she had been  _dreaming_ of doing for months), before relaxing into her side with a contented sigh, "That sounds perfect."


End file.
